[uFull Back - Paul Wellens[/u
Capable of speeds of up to 0.05 miles per day. Speaks with that annoying Stains accent too. Hopes to spend GF prize money winnings on elocution lessons.
[uCentre - Frances Meli[/u
Still repudiating rumours that 23 of the worlds rarest insects have set up home on his head.
[uHooker - KFC[/u
Known to his team-mates as 9/11. Not for the way he terrorises opposition defences but the date on which he last washed his hair. Turned down lucrative sponsorship contracts with Colgate, Palmolive and Gillette as he has a cleanliness aversion.
[uUtility - James Roby[/u
Over-rated award winning bench warmer. Also known as "impact player" - as much use as a magic sponge this season.
[uProp - James Graham[/u
Former bit player on Muppet Show in the 1980's. A successful operation by Dr Bunsen Honeydew in the lab helped James pile on the pounds and he hasn't looked back since.
[uSecond Row - Paul Clough[/u
Simply, the lights are on but no-one is home.
[uScrum-Half - Sean Long[/u
Words are not needed.
[uStand Off - Leon Pryce[/u
Dangerous when on the attack. Just make sure you have adequate security if you happen to cop off with one of his mates girlfriends.
