fair effort, you were only 40 minutes out

10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.



Now we have no Jobs, no Hope, and no Cash.

Steve McBanana walks into his local Burger King and says "Give me two whoppers"



So the girl on the till says "O.K. England are going to win the 4 nations, and Michael McIlorum is international class"

This one from my daughter. Why did spock visit the toilet? He wanted to see the captains log

Paul McCartney has had his first row with his new wife. He has complained she is spending twice as much on shoes as his last one!!!

"What did one BlackBerry user say to the other BlackBerry user? Nothing.

A bloke goes into a Fancy Dress shop and the shop assistant holds out an England Rugby Union kit for him. He says no no i said i want to look like a count not a C.



Finish it yourselfs.

Was walking in the Tesco entrance earlier, when I read their motto, 'Why Pay More?'



"Good point," I thought... "Asda it is then."

Everybody is raving about, 'The only way is Essex.'

Personally I prefer, 'The only way is Liverpool...'



Or Crimewatch as it's better known.

I hate some of the excuses women come up with for not having sex. Like:



"I'm on my period."



"I've got a headache."



Or



"Get your hands off my neck I don't even know you."